Even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning. All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secret of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life’s heart.”
– Khalil Gibran
Broken-heartedness is nothing uncommon for the heart to experience. For people of the Path, the experience of broken-heartedness is all too familiar. Many are actually whirled into the vortex of divine love from the height of their broken-heartedness in human love affair. The paradox is quite common that God will give the love for a human being, then the human being (who was the locus of love) is withdrawn, the union is made impossible and through all of this drama, the lover is drawn more close to the Real Beloved while made to journey into the arid desert of broken-heartedness.
The midwife knows that when there is no pain, the way for the baby cannot be opened and the mother cannot give birth. Likewise, for a new Self to be born, hardship is necessary. Just as clay needs to go through intense heat to become strong, Love can only be perfected in pain.”
– Elif Shafak, The Forty Rules of Love.
In human love affair, the extream painfull love is onesided love,pain of separation in love, the feeling of betrayal and disappointed in the so called “one sided love” is like the pain of child-birth. That pain, the fire of love burns away our old self and gives birth to a new being with more pristine vision, wider view on life and expansive capacity of the heart. Infact the heart is given wing with love.
one way love which the love is not reciprocated by the other, or sometime which is coined as ‘one way love’ – even then love does its work as it should. It transforms the heart, it transforms the being of the lover. If the lover, when the other person is not reciprocating or not acknowledging or not conforming to the expectation of the lover and immediately if that turns the feeling towards that person bitter, sour or if a sense of disappointment engulfs the heart – then know that this love is actually is still at a very immature level than transcendent love.
So instead of focusing and worshiping the idol, which in this case is the other person, love should be freed from its lesser reality. Yes the human partner is wonderful to hold, to sing to, to love, to embrace, to rest on his or her bosom, to dance with, to walk hand in hand – but after all, even that will come to an end, but love will remain.
The kind of love which loves the person this moment, and the next moment hates the same person with all its might – is exactly the kind of disappointment and suffering that goes on mostly in the world in the name of love.
“Can you define what is one sided love?
If anyone love any human being from all soul, his/her every desire, every feeling is for the other, then how the other person never understand the love? How is it possible?
“The true purpose of rain clouds is not just to give rain, but to give birth to flowers and fruits in you garden of delight.” Yes even though the first thing you see from rain clouds are rain coming down, yet what you do not see are far more magical. The whole feast in the garden of delight where all the plants and trees takes in the water drops, mixes with divine elixir and produce such alchemical transfusion to produce the varying hued flowers, fragrance and fruits of sweetness – which ultimately is the destiny of the rain cloud and all the drops that it carry in its pregnant state.
One sided love is love which flows from one heart and the reciprocation might not be visible or one person loves another person – but that love is not acknowledged from the other end. One may wonder, why we fall in such embrace in the first place? Why such fuss?
Like that you may only see and feel the broken-heartedness when the so called “one sided love” happens. You may only see the object of this love not responding or turn away from you, but in reality the alchemical has process already started when that love energy arose in your heart and that is much much more important than being together with the person, and as it happens in many cases, everyday getting disappointed and eventually love turning into sour after-taste since the other person can not keep up with the fantasies and loaded expectations. And also the interesting paradox is that we only grow in our pain and in denial of what our ego demands and in separation in far greater degree than its opposite.
Its inevitable from our every day reality that in every human love affair that if the transcendence of the purpose of love is not made aware (and if ego is not under good management), no matter how much deeply two persons fall in love, when they are together, often time the disappointment, the bitterness, the idealize picture gets shattered and no time in human history we are seeing this more pronounced than our time. There are no short of real life stories when there is a love affair that goes on for 2-3 years or 5 years and when the two are together, living under the same roof, they get a divorce or separation in one month or in weeks or even days. Why is that so? Didn’t they think they love each other so much?
So when there is one sided love and your ego is telling you cant live without this person, o how wonderful really it would be to be with this person; and if life’s unfolding leads you otherwise, don’t punish your mind by feeling betrayed. Trust in the wisdom of life and know that you are given what is best for you. Know this with certitude because that is a token of your faith in the unfolding of the divine hand.
Always be grateful for the love and do not complaint in the one-sidedness of the love or when the person of love is not making life journey with you. “Everyone has a direction to which he or she turns to” – says the revelation, and the directions of the lover and the form around which the love came, the beloved might have very different directions in life individually. One should remain grateful for love, only for love itself because its a gift and extremely helpful in human being’s growth. Regardless how we perceive the end result of the love through our short-sightedness, love alone is reason enough to be thankful. And one must not feel bitter if the person loved is not to become a life-partner because that’s the destiny and the life does what is best for us. Have patience in face of such moments.
“Patience does not mean to passively endure. It means to be farsighted enough to trust the end result of a process. What does patience mean? It means to look at the thorn and see the rose, to look at the night and see the dawn. Impatience means to be so shortsighted as to not be able to see the outcome. The lovers of God never run out of patience, for they know that time is needed for the crescent moon to become full.
Whatever happens in your life, no matter how troubling things might seem, do not enter the neighborhood of despair. Even when all doors remain closed, God will open up a new path only for you. Be thankful! It is easy to be thankful when all is well.
“A Sufi is thankful for not only what he has been given but also for all that he has been denied”
For life, my friends, is quite difficult for most of us, too complex for the complex mind but yet it is so extremely simple it defies reason. Love is the key to everything. I know the word Love has been much abused, maligned beyond recognition, commercialised to the extreme, bandied about by careless utterances of “I love you” by people who have no idea what “to love” means.
Only one love is true – that is unconditional love.That is the love that God shows us.the closest thing you can experience with the Divine is through unconditional love.Unconditional love does not mean self sacrificing, abuse-me-all-you-want kind of love. It is a strong love. A brave and courageous love which says:
I love you – as you are. You don’t have to love me back. And I love you enough not to let you abuse me.
You are only capable of achieving this kind of love if you love yourself.
Pain can change you…but that dosn’t mean it has to be a bad change…take that pain The Glorious one will change it into wisdom…
He is al-Karim, the Generous Giver and He is always giving. All our experiences in life are His gifts that evolve us. Broken heartedness is nothing uncommon to those who come to Love Him and seek Him, because in the pain of separation from temporal, Hu gives us an opportunity to know again and to realize the truth that
‘truly we belong to Allah and to Him shall we return’. Undertsand this statemetn with all your heart that ‘we belong to the Divine’ (li-llahi), which is saying, we are His beloved, thats why in reality we only belong to Him and to no other, and our soul’s return to the Real Home is also He.
That, my friends, is how you will feel, at the end of this journey. You, the physical self, would have died, before the hour of your death is due, and all that remains is your soul, shining in its true beauty. By then it does not matter if your are still together with the initial object of your desires, of your love. You understand that what is most important is the Journey. And that you fell in love with Love in the first place.
The way of love is not a subtle argument.
The door there is devastation.
Birds make great sky-circles of their freedom.
How do they learn it?
They fall, and falling, they’re given wings.
———❀ ♫ ☼ ☾*☮———
Keep enjoy the bliss of Sufism with my Art.
ღஜღ Love ღஜღ
Artist Seher Mohammmd
Painting Title: Love-A Non-Personal Miracle
From Art Series:A Journey of Self to Self
Medium:Dry Pastels on paper
Original Painting is available
Hope you all will enjoy the journey of Love through “The Non Personal Miracle”
For more details you can contact me via email.
Painting© 2014 All rights reserved
with Artist@Modaline Productions ®™
Circle of Love by Llewellyn Vaughan-Lee